Cursed 50º Degrees Coffee

Este é um site satírico. Não o tome seriamente. É uma piada.

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Ana and Custódio were swaging at "The Corner" - a mystical cursed place in Algueirão city.
Some claimed it was cursed because a noble character enthusiastically referred to as "Psht Óoh amigu, Óh fachavor!" never delivered fresh undead beer. Ana and Custódio on the other hand claimed it was cursed because there was no breeze. Not the fancy-pants air freshener. There was literally no waft… no gentle wind, no puff of air, or any other ridiculous synonym Microsoft Office Word would keep on throwing like a smart-ass.

The problem was serious: Custódio was suffering from aggressive ass-sweat with a high probability of developing an equally aggressive rash. The thought of being forced to lay on bed, legs apart, bottom face up, with a generous amount of Habilut not-so-gently spread on his buttocks was revolting to his stomach. Actually, as Ana witnessed, he was sick-like when she first approached him (this is serious journalism, collecting quotes and shit).
Ana was also suffering, but to her was the aggressive boob-sweat that was worrisome. The thought of being forced to watch nothing but the dull ceiling of her room while laying on bed wearing a sports bra filled with Biafine was terrifying.

They both sat there on a windless day, expressionless while panic was rising because they both read somewhere, as trustworthy as this piece, that the temperature was about to reach an historical pick of 50º degrees. Cursed this place was and they both felt it.

Este é um site satírico. Não o tome seriamente. É uma piada.

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